Father Hunger, Premarital Sex, and Divorce

To set the stage for this important topic please answer the following questions:

Question #1: Based on the number of sexual partners before marriage, which woman is least likely to divorce.

  • 0 sex partners before marriage
  • 1 sex partner2 sex partners
  • 3-8 sex partners
  • 9+ sex partners

If you picked zero, you’re correct. 1

The divorce rate for female virgins is about 6%. 2

Having one partner was close because the woman tends to marry him—even though premarital sex with even one partner significantly increases the odds of divorce. 3

Also a female virgin or one who marries her one partner is likely to attend church regularly—which greatly reduces her chance of divorce.

Question #2: Based on the number of sexual partners before marriage, which woman is most likely to experience divorce.4

  • 0 sex partners before marriage
  • 1 sex partner
  • 2 sex partners
  • 3-8 sex partners
  • 9+ sex partners

9+ is incorrect. 3-8 is wrong too. The answer is two. Why?

Nicholas Wolfinger, author of Understanding the Divorce Cycle, and coauthor of Soul Mates: Religion, Sex, Love, and Marriage Among African Americans and Latinos, writes, “my best guess rests on the notion of over-emphasized comparisons.”5

Basically the woman mentally compares her current husband to her previous lover which opens the door to doubts and temptations.

So where does Father Hunger fit in?

Parental divorce, Father Hunger behaviors which often include multiple sexual partners are commonly linked in research. Writing about the loss of fathers, Dr. Edward Kruk states, “girls manifest an object hunger for males, and in experiencing the emotional loss of their fathers egocentrically as a rejection of them, become susceptible to exploitation by adult men.”6 Dr. Beverly Rodgers writes, “Many of these girls lose their virginity at a younger age and have higher rates of promiscuity.”7

What can I do  about father hunger?

If your parents are divorced, learn about Father Hunger. Adult Children of Divorced Parents by Beverly and Tom Rodgers, Daughters of Divorce by Terry Gaspard, and Longing for Daddy by Monique Robinson are strong books on this topic.

Learn what the Bible says about God as our father. For example: Even if my father and mother abandon me,the Lord will hold me close.8

A father to the fatherless,a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.9

How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them.10

Regardless of what your past may look like, commit to honoring God with your life today.

What can proactively help to head off father hunger?

We’ll look at 19 things that can be done next time.

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  1. http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
  2. http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
  3. http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
  4. http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
  5. http://family-studies.org/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability/
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201205/father-absence-father-deficit-father-hunger
  7. Beverly and Tom Rodgers, Adult Children of Divorced Parents; Making Your Marriage Work.(San Jose, CA: Resource Publications, Inc, 2002) 11.
  8. Psalm 27:10, NLT
  9. Psalm 68:5, NIV
  10. Psalm 139:17, NLT, 1996